CHRIST'S HANDS ACROSS THE INTERNET Where christians come to share, pray and study. BIBLICAL CLASSIFIED ADS HELP WANTED Opportunity of a Lifetime---Don't Miss the Boat! Do you have experience working with animals? We are looking for persons to serve as caretakers in our floating menagerie. This is not a paid position but you will be sorry if you pass this one up. Benefits include room, board, and free cruise. Apply in person at Crazy Noah's Shipbuilding. Immediate Opening---Construction Supervisor Excellent communication skills a must! Multilingual capability a plus. Applications being accepted at Babel Ziggurat Constructions Attention All Wise Men of Babylon! All you who consider yourselves magicians, enchanters, astrologers, and diviners are hereby commanded report to the palace of King Nebuchadnezzar. The king has had a dream and is in need of a true interpretation. Soldiers Wanted No Experience Necessary! Acceptance guaranteed! Due to the unfortunate recent tragedy, we have a whole army full of openings. Apply at Pharaoh's Palace Lost Three of my father's donkeys are missing. If anyone knows of their whereabouts please contact Saul, son of Kish of the tribe of Benjamin. Double Loss Some time ago I lost three valuable donkeys. My son Saul and my servant went looking for them and have yet to return. Now I am more worried for my son than my property. Anyone having seen them please send word to me, Kish, son of Abiel, Benjamite. Found Three donkeys. Also, I have a message of great import for the one seeking these lost animals. Samuel, prophet, district of Zuph Wanted Multitalented Individual - Attributes required: Ability to Handle Rejection, Compassion, Communication Expertise, Energy, Good Connections, Good Time Management Skills, Fearlessness, Humility, Intelligence, Knowledge of History and Literature, Love, Obedience, Patience, Stamina, Uncompromising Vision, Understanding of the Uses of Power, Wisdom. Job Title: Messiah Other Position Titles: Counselor, God With Us, Good Shepherd, Holy One of Israel, King of the Jews, Lord, Prince of Peace, Redeemer, Savior, Son of God, Son of Man, Stone the Builders Rejected, the Vine, Wonderful. Note: We are happy to announce this position has been filled. Tax Collector Needed Profitable opportunity with the Roman Government. Ideal candidate will possess facility with numbers, ability to work well with people of different nationalities, and thick skin. Note: Must be willing to sign two year contract promising not to take off chasing itinerant radical preachers. Dynamic Individualist Sought for Challenging Volunteer Position Scholarly knowledge of History, Law, and Religion helpful as this position will necessitate careful liaison work between two opposing factors. Successful candidate will understand the principles of sacrifice and self-discipline. Fundraising ability helpful. Must have own source of income as funding may be sporadic. Extensive travel required. Apply on the Damascus Road for a personal interview. Silversmiths of Ephesus Unite! An important meeting of interest to silversmiths and related tradesmen will be held tonight to discuss a serious threat to our livelihood. As you know a man called Paul preaches there is but one God and is convincing many. Unless we take action now our goddess may fall into disrepute and there is danger our trade will lose its good name. You owe it to yourself and your fellow craftsmen to attend this meeting. Demetrius Workers Needed - Will Train Instruction Provided in the Following Areas: Compassion, Character, Joyfulness, Kindness, Love, Obedience, Patience, Peace, Perseverance, Self Control, Strength, Tolerance, & Understanding, Present yourself at the foot of the Cross. Come as you are and don't delay (limited time offer). Resume not required, please bring your heart. HUMOR BY LILANDRIA - NO USE GRANTED WITHOUT PERMISSION. EMAIL: editor@chain.org FOR PERMISSION ALL MATERIAL IS PROPERTY OF CHAIN UNLESS OTHERWISE CREDITED AND NOT TO BE USED WITHOUT PERMISSION Back to the Top