CHRIST'S HANDS ACROSS THE INTERNET Where christians come to share, pray and study. NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS NOT TO MAKE I will quit smoking... at least 20 times a day. I will read my Bible every day... as soon as all the denominations decide which one is translated correctly. I will learn Hebrew and Greek... in the next six months. I will give 10% of my income to God's service... as soon as Ed McMahon shows up with my check. I will love my neighbor... when they stop their dog from barking. I will start getting involved in local fellowship... as soon as I find the perfect church. I will lose weight using the Evangelical diet.... two potlucks a week! (Bring on the fried chicken.) I will stop attending movies with questionable content... unless the theater is two suburbs away from my church. I will always dress appropriately in public... using the Mardi Gras in Rio as a model. I will follow the shining example exhibited by the mature, honest, compassionate leadership... of the American President. ALL MATERIAL IS PROPERTY OF CHAIN UNLESS OTHERWISE CREDITED AND NOT TO BE USED WITHOUT PERMISSION Back to the Top