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TIPS FOR WHEN YOU REBEL AGAINST GOD


  • Do not go sailing, check all swimming pools for whales before jumping in. (See Jonah)

  • Do Not, I repeat, Do NOT look back! (See: Lot's wife)

  • Try not to be in the desert or wilderness when rebelling. Your loved ones might get to worry after 40 years! (See: Israel in the wilderness)

  • Move away from California or whereever earthquakes are common. (See: Israel in wilderness)

  • Do not build idols, especially golden calves. (Yep, you got it.. Israel in the wilderness again! Maybe you should just stay out of the wilderness, period!)

  • Listen to talking donkeys. (See: Balaam)

  • Learn sign language before arguing with any angels. (See Zacharias)

  • Buy lots of lightning rods. (OK, it is not in the Bible but with all the joking around God may be getting some new ideas!)

  • Do not walk on water. (As if you were going to try that anyway! See: Peter.)

  • Last but not least.... Let God's people go!!! (See: Pharoah)



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